1. ✅ Privacy Policy You already have a satirical one — great for humans — but you&rsq...

1. ✅ Privacy Policy

You already have a satirical one — great for humans — but you’ll still need a clear, serious version somewhere (can be linked in footer). It should include:

• What data you collect (e.g., Google Analytics)

• Why you collect it

• Legal basis (e.g., “legitimate interest” or “user consent”)

• Who you share data with (e.g., Google)

• How long you store it

• User rights (access, deletion, rectification)

• Contact info (for data-related requests)

🔧 Optional solution: Keep your satirical one, but link to a “Plaintext GDPR” page underneath or in a dropdown. Example:
“Want the boring legal version? Click here to ruin your vibe.”

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2. ✅ Cookie Consent Banner

If you’re using any third-party cookies (e.g., Google Analytics, embedded X posts, YouTube), EU law requires:

• Prior informed consent before loading non-essential cookies

• A way to accept or reject cookies (not just “OK”)

• A link to your cookie policy

• Cookie choices that are as easy to withdraw as they are to give

🔧 Use a plugin like:

• Cookiebot, Osano, CookieYes, or Tarte au Citron (open-source)

• Or if you’re hand-coding: show modal + block analytics until consent is given

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3. ✅ Impressum / Legal Disclosure (if monetized or “professional”)

Required if you’re running this as a business or earn any money (ads, affiliate, donations).

• Name and address of responsible person/entity

• Contact email

• Company registration details (if applicable)

• VAT ID (if registered)

• Hosting provider info (optional but good form)

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⚙️ OTHER RECOMMENDED SECTIONS

4. ❕ Contact Page / Method

GDPR mandates users be able to contact you easily — even if you’re just a pseudonym.

• Include: a contact form or simple email address

• Optional: a PGP key or anonymous feedback form (if privacy-focused)

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5. ❕ Terms of Use (serious version)

Even if you love your satirical one (and I do), you might want a minimal legal version that includes:

• Liability disclaimers

• Intellectual property policy

• Jurisdiction (EU/your home country)

• User responsibilities (e.g., no illegal use, spam, etc.)

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6. ✅ Opt-out / Data Request Option

Under GDPR, users can:

• Request their data

• Ask for deletion

• Opt-out of analytics

You should provide a way to do that. Even a sentence like:

“To request deletion of your data, email [email address] with subject ‘GDPR Request.’”

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🚨 If You’re Using Google Analytics

Google Analytics 4 is more GDPR-friendly than Universal Analytics — but:

• You need to turn on IP anonymization

• You should set data retention policies

• You must get consent before loading analytics

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TL;DR — Here’s What You Should Add